:: freedom ::

Yeah yeah! Sing with me, peoples!!

I can finally call my life my own again :D
Just joking. It's never been mine. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, yes yes? :D

Anyways! I've FINALLY graduated from GE's Graduate Leadership Program (GLP)! Yay yay! So HAPPY.

I think people can really tell the difference between me as a YWA and me as a campus student. I think i prefer the campus-student me :D Feel younger. And i'm turning into a hyperactive bunny again! Woohoo!

I.Love.School.

Not that GE was such a bad place to work in, it was actually really cool. In fact, i couldn't have asked for more in terms of the experience and the exposure that i received. I'm just glad i was only there as an intern for now and not as a permanent worker. I can tell you that i'm SO not prepared for working life yet. Oh wells :) Everything in it's time yes?

Had a LOT of fun at LUCT's CF launch, meeting with Leen and CY, taking my huddle girls out for dinner and movie. Yeah, life's definitely back on track now :) Praise the Lord!

Random note : Step Up 2 is SO COOL. Like, i really wish i can dance now :S *jiggles for abit and plops down with a sigh* BUT IT'S STILL SO COOL. Go watch.

:: overwhelmed still ::

I'm trying so hard not to just give up and quit.

I've worked 3 months plus, i've given all i can, been late to huddles, been exhausted physically and mentally, had to endure horrendous KTM rides, forgo-ed lunch AND dinner countless of times. And. I feel like crying wayyyyy too often.

My last day in GE has been postponed.

God, i need You. In this, and that other matter of wanting to be dumped into a pool. Gently, of course.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

*breathes*

Drat economic regions. I want to stay in a cave. Bah.

:: rough days ::

Man, i hates it when i feels weak. And clueless. And just unsure of everything. Couldn't stop crying during worship. So sakit hati. Eeesh. But God, i'm sure You know its tiring. It's annoying and aggravating and just discouraging all at once. And there's only so much i can take at one time.

Oh wells. "...this beating heart is set apart for You." Beautiful song.

I like the words to this song by KT Tunstall.

I think it's time to put myself away
Seek out a little silence
Close the doors and sit a while
Walk a little

And as I put my words away
The flow slows
See this pen in a stream
Picking it up is easy.

Follow the shape of it.
Jump in.
Swallow it whole.
Jump in.

Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something that I found
Holding on for finding solid ground
Someday soon.
Someday soon.

I'll turn myself into the grass
And I'll grow
Take this space above my head
And live a little, little.

Gonna wear my feathered headress
Like an indian chief.
Gonna stretch out both my arms
I'm gonna test the temperature.

Follow the taste of it.
Jump in.
Swallow it whole.
Jump in.

Even though I know my around (even though)
Possibly there's something that I found (possibly I, possibly I)
Holding on for finding solid ground (ohh..)
Even though I know my way around (even though)
Possibly there's something newI found (possibly I, possibly I)
Holding on for finding solid ground (ohh..)
Someday soon.
Someday soon.

Maybe walk a little
Someday soon.
________________________________________

Hmms. I never noticed you before.

:: people change ::

I dunno if it's because you've moved ahead...

Or i'm standing still.

God, i need You. Here's me, putting all my trust, hope, faith and strength, into believing that You'll come through for me.

You know what i need, what i want and what i feel. Help me to not be distracted, aggravated and disappointed by the littlest of things.

*setting my eyes higher* I'm so glad Your ways are higher than mine.

:: overwhelmed ::

I.am.so.tired.

Just got a silly phone reminder saying i have an assignment due tmr which just btw, i'm only a quarter way through. *cries*

Too much work, too little time.

It's not that i don't enjoy it, it's just that there's not enough of me to go around. In work, in family, in church, in friends...even 5 Ellie's wouldn't be sufficient, me thinks.

Guess this is what it feels like to be a young working adult eh?

Guess this is what it feels like to be alone on Valentine's too. *laughs* The first year in 4 years that i'm not sending someone off in the airport.

I *almost* feel sorry for myself but i'm pretty sure God's got THE one for me somewhere out there. I thank Him at the very least for making me idealistic. Since i've never had a boyfriend before, i'm glad i can do things RIGHT (should i plan to). I'm glad i can do it the Acts-way (should i want to). I'm glad that when the time comes, my future boyfriend will be my future husband. It'll be so cool to hit the jackpot right away, yes yes? :D

One day soon :)

Lord, Your strength for the next 6 days in GE. May i leave with a job offer that i can glorify Your name with. (and THEN, gloat about) Amen.

:: baby steps ::

...slowly....

.......steady.

Give me time. I'm getting there.

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." Hebrews 10:36

:: Updates ::

Yes, i'm a very boring person. So boring that the title on my latest post is "Updates". Bah.

But really, just so that you guys know that i'm alive and so that i know i actually still am sparing time to blog, i'm gonna post. Whoopeedoo.

#1. I had 9 hours of sleep for each of the past 2 days, thanks to a bee-you-ti-ful day called Federal Territory Day. I love FT Day. *chants*

#2. I finally cut my hair. And guess what? I had it highlighted too. Hee. Yes, Shi Wei, i did it. After all my stands of never-ever-wanting-to-dye-my-hair-coz-everyone's-already-done-it-and-i'm-going-to-stay-original, yes, i've highlighted my hair. I have bronzy streaks now, btw. *grin* Pictures to be up soon.

#3. My camera mati, thus, no pictures of new highlights yet.

#4. I went shopping!! Like, *really* shopped. For like, CLOTHES. *bimbotic grin* I got a skirt (haha!) and 2 tops. All from Promod. And half of my pay is gone. *sad-faced* But it was worth it right?? Right, Trace? Right, Cindy?

#5. I'm beginning to think that peep-toe shoes are not so aunty-ish now.

#6. I got to eat my favourite cheese-baked prawns in Overseas Restaurant today. *beams happily* I'm actually allergic to prawns but they're just so irresistibly tasty. So if you see me with rashes tomorrow, you'll know why. *laughs*

#7. I'm actually missing Switchfoot tonight. Hrms. And i had like 3 tickets offered to me. I think i made the right decision on staying home tonight tho. God knows when i'll get s'more me-times :)

#8. My program in GE ends in exactly 2o days. Wow. Time *really* flies. And that's counting weekends. *eye widens*

#9. The KTM so disgusts me. I've become like Michelle and started carrying hand sanitizer.

#10. I've got a new habit. I pick at frays. Of my jeans, of my tops, of my bags, of table cloths, etc. Hehehe :) Not proud of it, but i've been wondering why the frays of my jeans are so bad and then i realised, it was because of me. *dush*

*grin* I treasure my me-times. Selfish, but nevertheless, needed at times.

Oh oh! JANE LOKE IS FINALLY HOME! :D Welcome home, dearie :)